Tip of the Week: When we are in any kind of relationship, the best results, when there is disharmony, come from identifying the Joint Shared Commitment between the parties.

What I am referring to is that both people involved have an outcome that is important to them, that is also an outcome the other person is committed to. What derails us often, is instead of keeping our eye on the joint shared commitment, we focus on the details ("cursed details" my friend Mike Dooley calls them!) When we do that, it often causes us to polarize our thinking into believing our way to accomplish the end result is the right way or, worse, the only way.

In the real estate business, we often see this happening when there is a lot of negotiation between the seller and buyer that can have a deal lost over $1000 or $2000 or a refrigerator. At some point both parties dig in their heels believing they have given enough and the other party needs to give. You've probably witnessed this kind of stupid stubbornness. What gets lost is the exciting future for the seller and great house for the buyer. After all, the joint shared commitment is that each want to move - the seller wants to sell and the buyer wants to buy.

In other business, this can happen as well when an employee and management disagree how things should be done. I know, at any given time, each person is doing the best they can and making the best decisions they can based on what they see (their perceptions and information). So when an employee isn't doing the job you expect or had asked for, instead of criticizing their work, some discovery into why they are doing what they are doing may yield better facts to turn it around. Likewise, if you are the employee for an unreasonable manager... find out their motivation for their behavior. And,always, come back to why you both are at that company. What is the vision or joint shared commitment you bought into when you began to work there?

And then, of course, there's love. Why are there so many divorces? While I'm not saying there is never a reason to change partners... over 35 years with Bub has taught me that the joint shared commitments we have are more important than the "cursed how's". Last newsletter, I shared about how being right can become a detriment. This can be so detrimental in relationships, because it is easy to get a greement from others that shores up our opinion about how our partner is treating us.

But… hopefully, there is a big joint shared commitment that allows you to accept that person as a separate being with the right to have their own judgments and opinions and make their own choices.

Now, that doesn't mean you have to like it. But is disharmony over something small worth ruining the day? Will you let someone else steal your joy today?

And, of course, it doesn't have to be your partner - this question is worth asking with anyone's behavior that annoys or maddens you.

Bub and I are very different. His slow, patient way of approaching things can drive me batty...

...or I can accept that Bub is Bub and brings a lot of laughter and fun into my life...

...our joint shared committment is to Laugh, Love, Have fun & Travel and to be debt-free!

And, despite our radically different ways of approaching it, keeping our eye on that has kept us together!

What are the joint shared commitments you have with others? Taking 5-10 minutes to define them and to share them will perhaps produce some interesting results!

I'd love to hear your thoughts about this.

Tech Tip

Here is a simple tip to weed out your Facebook "friends". A good friend shared with me that her Facebook contacts had gotten unwieldy and she realized she didn't know or want to see the posts of several people. So each day, she looks at the birthdays and unfriends those she no longer wants to be connected to! What an easy way to go through your entire list!

The Next Paperless Agent Webinar

I am really excited that Garry Wise of The GoodLife Team will be doing monthly Webinars showing you how they use the iPad with Buyer and with Sellers. I have hosted several seminars with Garry, to rave reviews. He is generous with his expertise and always stays and answers individual questions.

If you aren't maximizing your use and understanding of your tablet or just want to see the future of agent productivity... you don't want to miss this - May 21st at 1 PM CDT.

Also…as a present …...Here is a sample video for you.

Where I'll be teaching Soon

May 21st - Scottsdale AZ GRI 320 Advanced Technology

There are still some spots left! We'll be learning about Google Tools, Cloud Computing and Paperless, Using Videos, Search Engine Optimization and Social Media!!!! Would love to see you!

Have an Easy Couple of Weeks!
It IS up to YOU!!!!!!

If we aren't already connected...